Did she just say the F-word??? Did I just hear her say that I need to “forgive” the people from my past to move forward in my life, so I can feel free? Yes, the F-word will set you free by completely forgiving yourself, everyone in your past, and everything that has ever happened to you since you were born. I know this sounds pretty crazy, asking you to forgive those that have hurt you in so many ways. But I am here to tell you that if you continue to hold these grudges from your past, you will continue to prevent yourself from creating the life you want.
Forgiveness is like water: we need it to survive.
Start Learning to Let it Go
Let go of the pain that has been hurting you for so long. Let go of what that person may think or feel. Holding onto anger will only give you negative thoughts, and when we think negatively, we will only attract that back to us.
So, let’s start learning to let that shit go.
I mean, who really cares what they think? Seriously. Does it really matter? No, not really. What matters is taking care of yourself. When you learn to love yourself enough to let go of the shitty situation that you have been holding onto, you can finally move forward and start feeling more peace in your life. Then you will finally be set free.
Forgiving isn’t about being nice to them—it’s about being nice to you. It’s about putting your need to feel good in front of your need to be right. It’s about taking responsibility for your own happiness instead of depending on others to create that for you. It’s about owning your feelings and taking back your power by letting go of your hurt, resentment, and anger. It’s time to say goodbye to your Inner Mean Girl (your ego) and allowing your Inner Goddess (your intuition) to lead the way.
When we don’t forgive, we stay stuck in our past, unable to move forward.
We relive all our bad moments by holding on and choosing not to let go. Some of us won’t rest until we get back at the other person, hoping to have hurt them as badly as they have hurt us. We will do whatever we need to let them know how hurt we are at what they did to us. We hold onto the resentment, which keeps us angry, spins us out of control with our thinking, causes depression, and creates illnesses. And we do this for what reason? To get them back? Hmmm, yeah, that feels really good. It feels even better when we wind up in the doctor’s office with a terminal disease because we didn’t want to let go of the anger we had for those few people that we felt screwed us over, years ago.
Choosing not to forgive ends up feeling terrible.
I know because I have been there many times.
Holding onto the anger, thinking that I am hurting the other person… meanwhile, I am only hurting myself. I am the one feeling the emotions, I am the one constantly feeling the anger anytime someone mentions their name. They can’t feel what I am feeling; they aren’t in my head able to hear my thoughts about them. Why do we even let ourselves think about them? Seriously, ask yourself that question again.
We wind up continuing to have a relationship with the people we can’t stand, all because we don’t want to let go. If you think about it, it’s so insane! We are self-inflicting ourselves by holding onto our anger. When we hold onto resentment, it’s like we are pouring salt onto our wound. Only we feel that pain.
When we choose to forgive, we can see more clearly, we can breathe easier, we can move on from our past and start creating what we want in our lives. When we forgive, we have learned to love who we are enough to let go so we can be happy. When we forgive, we finally feel what freedom feels like.
And Ohhh, it feels so damn good.
Wipe the Slate Clean
Once you have decided to forgive the person, let it go. Don’t hold onto it anymore, don’t think about it, don’t dwell on it, not one tiny bit.
And don’t ever question if you did the right thing or not. Because yes, what you did was right by doing right by you. By loving yourself enough to give yourself that gift.
Remember, forgiving isn’t for the other person, it’s for you. By forgiving someone, you’re not condoning what they did. You are letting go for yourself. Wipe the slate clean. Don’t automatically assume that the person is going to hurt you again. When you think like that, you will likely get hurt again. Whatever we put thought to, we create. That is the exact reason why we keep attracting the same situations into our lives.
Let me give you an example. Say you happen to think that men are all liars and cheaters, all because your past boyfriend hurt you. He cheated on you, multiple times with other women (or men). Maybe you even wound up with an STD as a result. After ten years, you still haven’t forgiven him. Your physical health is a constant reminder of what he did to you (Bastard!). And now you can’t seem to figure out why you have a hard time meeting a nice guy, one that you can trust.
But what happens when you believe that all men are losers and cheaters who can’t be trusted? Whenever you meet a guy that you are interested in, you automatically start to act a certain way and sabotage the relationship.
You immediately don’t trust anyone because of your past experience with that loser ex-boyfriend. You start acting graspy and desperate in your new relationships, obsessively calling and texting. You start arguments, wanting to check their phone to see if they are talking to other women. And you wind up creating distrust and sabotage in your new relationship as a result.
You are doing this all to yourself by bringing your past issues into your present relationships. And you will show up this way every single time until you learn to let go and forgive. This belief of yours created from your past is still affecting you today. And you are proving your beliefs to be true.
What you choose to think becomes your truth, it becomes your story. You, my friend, are the creator of your story. What you say and believe will always be your truth. There’s no getting around this until you change your story.
Forgiveness stems from love, from learning to love yourself. Through an expression of love and not an expression of fear, we’re able to create more peace within ourselves. Our Inner Mean Girl (your ego) holds onto the fear of possibly getting hurt again, so She holds you back from wanting to forgive.
She is super sneaky in many ways and will stop you from creating the peace you can have within yourself. She knows without fear in your life, She won’t exist anymore. And She ain’t gonna let that happen so easily. She will pitch every excuse as to why you shouldn’t forgive this person. She’s no fool. She will throw a temper tantrum, kicking, screaming, and yelling to get your attention so She can stop you in your tracks. She knows exactly how to get her way to keep you under her control. She doesn’t care, as She is only out for herself. She is protecting her domain where She has been living since you were little—controlling your thoughts, instead of allowing you to take the reins.
Your Inner Goddess (your intuition), on the other hand, is madly in love with you and only wants what is best for you. She could care less what anyone else thinks. She wants you to be happy because She truly knows that your happiness is all that really matters. She is pure love. To your Inner Goddess, it’s all about you, because She knows that we are all one.
When we choose to forgive, we are releasing the person that we have been holding hostage within us. Each time you forgive someone, you choose love over fear. You are letting go of your old ways and making shifts toward a happier life. You are letting go and learning to allow. You are letting go of expectations of how you think everyone should be.
When we hold onto anger, we are kept prisoners to our pain, and we keep our feelings from our past alive.
Start using the F-word every day; let go of what is in your control (your thoughts) and start to enjoy your life.